Never Let You Go
by Rebellwithoutacause
Summary: Erik is restless and thoughts of Charles are driving him mad. He risks a midnight visit to the telepath's mansion, desperate for answers. Mild Slash, set after Xmen First Class, and a part two to my story Never Again.


_W_**_Hi guys! So, 'Never Again' got an amazing amount of reviews and attention, and omg, my reviewers are the best people EVER! You guys are so amazing and I love you more than you'll ever know! I wanted to explore more of the Erik/Charles ship that I set sail in Never Again and though it has been a long time coming, this is the result. Its much shorter but I really hope you guys like it. Enjoy!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't X-Men: First Class and I don't own the song which is Dangerous to Know by Hilary Duff (you have no idea how long it took me to find a song I was happy with as inspiration for this fic!) _**

**_Warnings: Mild slash. Don't like, don't read. _**

_Some secrets need to be kept_

_Some stories should never be told_

_Some reasons shouldn't be understood_

_They just might turn your blood cold_

_Who needs all the answers_

_Who takes all the chances_

_Who said the truth's gonna save you_

_When the truth could be dangerous_

_Like the way I feel_

_Its alright to steal_

_What I need from you_

_Do what I have to do_

_Say what I have to say_

_Go where I have to go_

_And that's dangerous_

_That's dangerous to know_

_I was a law unto myself_

_When you found me out on my own_

_Together nothing was sacred_

_Together we were alone_

_Who needs all the questions_

_Who lost their direction_

_Who said a lie's gonna break you_

_When a lie could be dangerous_

_Like the way I feel_

_Its alright to steal_

_What I need from you _

_Do what I have to do_

_Say what I have to say_

_Go where I have to go_

_And that's dangerous_

_That's dangerous to know_

_Ignorance is bliss_

_Your safe when you resist_

_There's no safety_

_In a kiss like this_

_Its dangerous_

_So kiss me_

_Kiss me_

_Like the way I feel_

_It's alright to steal_

_What I need from you_

_Do what I have to do_

_Say what I have to say_

_Go where I have to go_

_And that's dangerous_

_Dangerous_

_Like the way I feel_

_Its alright to steal_

_What I need from you_

_Do what I have to do_

_Say what I have to say_

_Go where I have to go_

_And that's dangerous_

_Dangerous to know _

_Some secrets need to be kept..._

Ever since that day he hadn't been able to sleep well. Charles was constantly on his mind, constantly invading his thoughts, probably even more than he had while they had been together. It was maddening, never being able to get the telepath out of his mind, even though he was probably a hundred miles away.

Erik had tried staying close, under the pretense of keeping an eye on Charles, to be able to stop him should he interfere with his plans. Mystique had known his real reason, but she had given him the respect of keeping it quiet. If he was honest he had a lot to be thankful for in that girl. She adored him, worshiped the ground he walked on practically. Maybe he was a fool for not choosing her. She certainly wouldn't push him away. But as magnificent as she was, she wasn't who he wanted.

At first Erik and his newly formed team had stayed in New York, away from Charles estate, but Erik couldn't tear himself away. He could still feel Charles presence, and on one occasion Erik had actually slipped onto the property. Charles had known it instantly. His power had only grown in their time apart, and Erik could still remember the shock to his senses.

_Why am I not surprised? _Charles voice had been cool and very smooth and even in his mind Erik could see the flash of those sea blue eyes.

_Are you well old friend? _Erik had asked.

_Well enough. Life without my legs has been a new challenge to say the least. But you didn't come here to inquire about me. I can feel your mind Erik. You can still change this. You can come back._

Erik had bitten his tongue so hard that he could taste blood. It was an effort to wrench his thoughts down before Charles could read them. Telepathic ability had its limitations, even with someone as powerful as Charles.

_You know why I can't do that, Charles. I came here to ask you once more if you would come with me. Take your place at my side, the head of the evolution of the human race! You have it in you to be so much more than you already are! _Erik pleaded. As an afterthought he couldn't stop he said _I miss you. _

Erik could feel the sigh in his mind coming from Charles. He could see the disappointment in his face and the heaviness of his heart just as clear as if Charles stood right in front of him.

_I know you hide from everyone else what happened that night before the battle. The thing you hate most, hiding what you're not ashamed of, is so pervasive in your life that you risked coming here and being found by my students as a trespasser. In fact someone is already on their way, so I suggest you leave. _

_Charles I… _Erik struggled to respond but Charles cut him off.

_Erik go. Do what you feel you must, but remember. My door is always open. _

Erik had fled but as his feet crossed the boundary of the property line he thought he heard a last echo of Charles in his mind.

_I miss you too…_

That night had haunted him endlessly. He'd moved his team far from New York to get away from the constant memory and though the move had helped it did not erase the dreams or the longings or the doubt. Had he done the right thing? Was he wrong? Was Charles right? Was he crazy? All these questions and none of them had answers.

It had been some months since his last encounter with Charles but it hadn't left his mind. Sometimes he could make himself busy enough, there was always work to be done, but at night when he lay in bed and thought about everything that happened, he was filled with unease. He tossed and turned in the sheets, the fabric so cold it made him shiver. It had been anything but cold that night with Charles in the mansion, and he'd be the worst kind of liar if he said he didn't crave the telepath's flesh against his own.

It was on one such night he found himself tossing and turning and unable to sleep. He sat up in bed, the sheets pooling around his hips and let his arms rest on his knees. His body physically hurt with the state of his unrest.

He rose from bed and dressed, thinking he might go for a walk in the night to cool himself off and relax a bit. However he found himself side tracked when he passed the kitchen. Maybe a drink would serve him better.

He'd just cracked the seal on the fresh bottle of scotch when he felt her eyes on him. He didn't bother to turn around. No one else would come looking for him at this time of night.

"Go back to bed Mystique." He said quietly. He'd taken to using her mutant calling rather than her human name. She was not human and had finally realized the value in that.

"You should go to him." She said softly. She padded from the door where she stood behind him and faced him, even as he looked away and poured a measurable amount of alcohol into his glass.

"What good would that do?" It was a sign of his desperation that he wouldn't deny the possibility of going back to the mansion as an option. He cursed himself and tossed the shot back.

"You miss him." Mystique said simply, her yellow eyes glowing with both wisdom and power. Erik smiled inside. She truly was magnificent. Perfection. It was tragic irony that though she would give herself to him, he turned her away.

"How long have you known?" Erik said quietly, pouring another half shot and sipping it much slower this time.

"Charles was like my brother, and unlike you wears his heart on his sleeve. There was only one it could be." She murmured. She leaned against the counter, her glowing eyes reflecting all of Erik's turbulent thoughts. "Go to him."

"It won't change anything." Erik insisted. "Why should I grovel on my knees? He no longer wants me."

Mystique shook her head. "I know Charles better than you do in some ways. He will never give up on you, Erik. As misguided as he is, he will never give up on you. And if it will do nothing else, you will at least be able to sleep at night."

"Hold down the fort will you? I'll be back tomorrow morning." He said as he walked into the front room, grabbed his car keys, and marched out the door.

It was a very long drive and it gave him ample time to think about what he was doing. He was pretty sure it was a mistake, but he had tried everything else to shut out the nagging, indescribable sensation that would never let him rest. He couldn't even tell himself why he was doing this, but he couldn't deny that his heart was glad for it. Maybe the goodbye on the beach in Cuba hadn't been enough. Maybe he really did have to see him one last time before he could let Charles go.

He'd ditched the car and snuck onto the property. From his time in the mansion before he knew which room belonged to Charles and it was no trouble to use his powers to levitate himself up to the telepath's window. To block his abilities he was wearing his helmet. Only long enough to get into Charles room. He trusted Charles to stay out of his mind. He hadn't come on business, so to speak.

It was very late, and the only light was moonlight turning the yellowish stone walls of the mansion silver grey and the metal of the window pane black. It was easy for him to undo the lock with his powers and slip into Charles room. The wheel chair rested peacefully by the bed, but its occupant was stirring on the mattress.

"Erik?" Charles asked whispering in quiet wonderment, as if he was sure he was dreaming.

Erik lowered himself to the floor and shut the window before removing his helmet. "Hello Charles." He said quietly.

Charles sat up in bed, using his hands and the headboard to stay upright, his legs limp and motionless. In private Erik had silently mourned Charles injury, the fact that he had been the cause. To see him a shell of the man he had once been hurt his heart all the more.

"Why are you here, Erik?" Charles demanded. He leaned over and switched on the lamp and Erik was now privy to the calculating stare in the telepath's sea blue eyes.

"I had to see you." He said, struggling with the words. He had never been good with words. Action had always been his forte.

"Oh Erik." Charles murmured, pity coloring his voice. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

Erik sat on the edge of the bed and turned to look at Charles. There was no fear between them, only painful silence and trembling resolution.

"Charles, you do not understand. You have felt my mind, my memories, my pain, but you will never understand what mankind has done to me. I cannot nor will not sit by and watch as our species is destroyed!" Erik insisted. He turned to look at the man. "Why can't you understand what I'm trying to do?"

"All of what you say is true." Charles whispered softly. "But just as true is that mankind did not murder your mother, hold you as prisoner in a laboratory, brand your arm, or drive you from my side." He leaned forward and stroked Erik's cheek, his palm smooth and cool against the emotional flush of Erik's skin. "One man, or a few evil men, cannot be allowed to speak for the whole human race!"

"Why do you short change yourself Charles? You once told me that I had the power to be something no one could match. You have that same power in you! But you're too afraid to seize it!"

Charles gaze hardened. "You've lost your touch, Erik. You will not persuade me with appeals to my intellectual vanity."

Erik felt the blood rush spill through his veins and memories of his life before flashed in front of him and he couldn't stop himself.

"No? Maybe I will persuade you like this." He leaned forward and fisted his hand into Charles dark hair and kissed him.

It wasn't just any kiss. This was raw, pent up energy that came forward and burned long, slow, and down to the core. Erik's lips met Charles and it was as if the a forest fire had been lit all at once. Flames scored through him, fueled by the moan Charles gave when Erik's tongue parted his lips roughly, finding a willing opponent in Charles tongue. It felt so good to be kissing the only man Erik had ever loved. This one single kiss was probably even better than sex. In one kiss, one burning kiss, Erik could say everything he needed to say without tainting it. Without messing it up. And Charles was helpless to his will, just as he had been before Cuba, and Erik could not deny that Charles' willingness was an even greater pull.

But Charles wasn't helpless. He had never been helpless, and even now without use of his legs, he still had more power than he let on. He thrust his tongue back into Erik's mouth, his lips pressing hard and his teeth nipping a bit even as he fought Erik for control. They'd always fought for control, and Erik knew they always would, but at the same time, it felt so good. No one else was his equal, no one else could match him, no one else could make him feel so alive. With just a single kiss, Erik could feel his whole world shift and be shaken up. All the pieces flung every which way and it didn't even matter.

Erik was the one to pull away. He had got what he'd come for, even though he hadn't realized what it was he was looking for until just now. The reassurance that if and when it came down to a battle, neither side would stand down. Neither side would give in. They would fight and fight as hard as they could, and when they both were bloody and beaten, they would still feel the burn in their mouths and both would know they could never let each other go.

**_Well? What'd ya think? Lemme know with that lovely Review option! =D _**


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